You Need Directions?

You need directions?

Well, you could take the bus because it’s the most reliable mode of transportation around. But they recently raised fares and they’re always filled with “the crazies”, if you know what I mean. The bus is not the best option.

The light rail is great, it’s moderately clean, spacious and generally affordable. Trouble is, the station is dangerous after dark and the ticket machines are always out of order no matter how hard you kick them. The train isn’t your best bet.

Release my friends you evil machine!

If you have a car, it’s a quick trip – towards the destruction of the planet. Do you really hate Mother Earth that much? We don’t need any more global warming or carbon footprints, thank you. THANK YOOOOU.

So you might want to bike, take in the scenery, get to know your neighborhood and save on gas money. Oh, and its all downhill from here. But all uphill coming back. I suppose biking is not the most convenient way to travel.

Uphill wheels – no no, hamstring.

A zero emission hover craft or maybe a teleportation device would be ideal but those haven’t been invented yet. And let’s face facts; at the pace we’re headed, mankind will surely eradicate itself long before we do. Don’t you think?

Praise my Master! The day is approaching!

Me? I walk everywhere, get some exercise and enjoy nature a bit. I have everything I need – bottles, cans, blankets – in this here shopping cart. No matter where my travels take me, I’m always home.

Sewer scenery! Repay the beans! Another hat!

Say, where the heck is a pretty stuffed doggie like you headed anyway? I’ll give you a ride.