It’s been a long summer but we’re all ready to get out of the heat and into our living rooms. What better way to stop sweating than to plunk down on the couch and get your videogaming on?

Autumn is here and the leaves aren’t the only things that are falling.

That’s right, videogames are falling.

Into your lap.

And what do you do with things in your lap?

Play with them.

Megaman 9

This long-awaited installment in this classic franchise is finally here already. Nine Megamans are all you need now that this game is back again for the first time in forever! What’s old is new and what’s new is ancient. The graphics are classic, the music is future, and the game itself is somewhere in middle. Travel back through the future to read my reviews of Megamen 3 through 8 – which never didn’t get made!
Score = 9.999

Megaman 2

The followup to the 1983 smash hit is finally here and it was worth the wait! The clunky classic controls have been smoothed out for the next generation and sniping Ruskies in HD is great. The voice acting could use some work but the Swedish Death Metal soundtrack more than makes up for it.
Score = 9.992

Disgaea 3

I remember the first couple of times I had Disgaea. Man, it was awful. I was drunk, made one mistake with a strange girl and spent the next two weeks in bed. Dungeon-grinding and trying to get my penicillin level up in order to defeat the evil burning-pee monster is not how I like to spend my vacation.
Score = STD

N+

From the creators of Trauma Center and Operation comes the first game based on blood-type identification. Dr. Plasmos is trying to occupy the world’s blood supply and it’s up to you to stop him by leading the Red Cross and feeding cookies to donors. The custom microscope controller packaged with the game can be unforgiving but with three endings and online play, it’s worth the $280 price tag.
Score = AB+

Rock Band 2

Somehow inspired by Charles Barkley’s Shut Up And Jam, this game lets you manage your favorite rock band. Can you get Van Halen a garbage bag of Snickers bars before they perform? Can you properly apply the makeup of KISS? Surprisingly, the soundtrack is terrible but you regain health by getting blowjobs backstage – which is REALLY cool.
Score = Groupies

Spore

The deadly T-fungus has infected the small town of Skunk City and you must find your lost nephew amidst the fog. Survival horror games have lost their impact in recent years but Spore is guaranteed to scare the socks off your shoes and the pants off your arms.
Score = 8.8

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed

We all know the story. Dark Vader tells Lance he’s his Uncle and Princess Lea steals a boat. Big deal, right? Well now that the force has been unleashed, your trusty lifesaver is all you have to defend yourself from Java The Hut! This game is confusing.
Score = Eewarks?

***Classic Uninformed Review***

Asteroids

Based on the popular film, Armageddon Day, this old Colecovision game inspired every roleplaying game from Final Fantasy to Halo. The sound of bleeps and bloops have been ingrained in a generation’s collective consciousness and no one will forget the hilariously bad Fabio box art.
Score = I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing