Trick or treat?

The gaming industry is handing over some delicious sweets this month along with some razorblade apples.

Which is which is witch?

Uninformed Reviews is here to sift through the candy corn and get to the Reese’s.

On to the reviews!!!

Little Big Planet

Sony’s killer app finally arrives and it couldn’t possibly look more boring if it starred a little ambiguous creature jumping around levels some ugly retard made in his parent’s basement. Oh, right, that is this game. After careful study, it really couldn’t look more boring. Luckily, looks are deceiving and this game kicks ass and balls at the same time. Ass balls.
Score = 9.6

Dead Space

A high-definition horror that pits you against an army of aliens. Some say its just another first person shooter but apparently it’s scary or something. Scary like a fox! Special Note: I am terrified of foxes and this game made me poop someone else’s pants.
Score = 7.5

Far Cry 2

It’s been years since the first installment and it was entirely worth the wait. Instead of running around shooting things along a linear path, you can now run around shooting things any boring place you want! That’s innovation, Johhny. You’ll never get bored if you can go anywhere, right? Just ask Carmen Sandiego. Is that still a relevant reference, gumshoes?
Score = 8.8

Saints Row 2

This GTA clone is all grown up and looking to take a chunk out of Rockstar’s cash cow. It’s more ghetto, more urban and less honky. You actually regain energy by sippin’ on sizzurp aka purple drank. Just look out for that evil monster…gentrification!!!
Score = 9.1

Castlevania: Ecclesia

I don’t know what an ecclesia is but I’m guessing it involves a lot of backtracking, pointless item-collecting and uninspired levels. But hey, Dracula is cool, am I right? Well? Am I? No, no I am not.
Score = Whips

Fable II

The first Fable was full of hype and ended with disappointment. Fable II flies onto shelves filled of trepidation and ends with dumpster. The controls are actually worse than the first game and I should know because I haven’t played either of them.
Score = 6.3

World Of Goo

I have no idea what this game is about but I’m assuming there’s jizzum involved at some point. Also, I think it’s only available through download so as to not get the manual crusty. I love it already. Game of the year???
Score = Messy

***CLASSIC UNINFORMED REVIEW***

Kirby’s Adventure

Hey fatsos, want a fat hero? You got one! Kirby eats stuff and gains the abilities of the things eat eats, a lot like you. Remember when you ate that bag of Doritos and gained Dorito power? I can still smell it. Smell the power.
Score = Obesity