Now that it’s May and I’m starting to get sunburned there’s only one place to go…

Aunt Rhubarb’s house! Oh, and the movie theater because Aunt Rhubarb kicks me out when her “friend” Gary comes over.

Speed Racer

It ain’t fast. It ain’t racy. It ain’t a blast like Kevin Spacey. Actually, he’s not in this movie, I just wanted that to rhyme. This movie gave me a frikkin’ seizure. The bad kind.
Thumb Score = B

What Happens In Vegas

The spiritual successor to the 1987 classic, Innerspace, this film takes a serious look at traveling through the organs of a man named Vegas in a tiny spaceship. Look out for those anti-bodies, Jake Gyllenhaal!
Thumb Score = C

Baby Mama

What would happen if a baby had a baby? The Wayans Brothers are just scandalous enough to find out! My favorite scene is when the baby mama is changing the baby’s diaper and then goes, “Now who gunna change MY diapee?” hahaha!
Thumb Score = A

Iron Man

Da da dada da. Dada dada da da dada da. Ozzy can’t act.
Thumb Score = D-

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

Harry Potter is back and this time he’s battling the wicked Prince of the Caspian Sea. Dumbledore is brought back from the dead only to be killed again – this time by the evil sorceror AIDs.
Thumb Score = A-

Made of Honor

1 cup Cuba Gooding Jr, ½ tbsp of Robert De Niro, 4 gallons of Sean Connery and a dash of Andy Garcia and you’ve got yourself a movie made of honor. Too bad it tastes like crap.
Thumb Score = F

***Classic Uninformed Review***

Chinatown

Only Stanley Kubrick could have pulled off adapting a Chinese takeout menu into a landmark film. It’s a film is so delicious that you’re only full for half an hour before you’re hungry to more…film!