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Having grown disgruntled with hearing the same handful of awful songs all the time – I’ve decided to ban some of them.
Feel free to add your own submissions to the list by commenting.
Satisfaction (The Rolling Stones)
Okay, maybe not a lifetime ban since it was once a pretty great song but lets please put it on hiatus. Five years should suffice. Not only will the classic Keith Richards guitar lick not sound during this mandatory sentence but no one is allowed to mention it as the greatest rock song of all time, either. Shut up.
AC/DC (Post Bon Scott)
Think of an AC/DC song that Brian Johnson “sings” and that’s the one that should be banned. Just pick one – they’re all exactly the same. Back In Black, Thuderstruck, Hell’s Bells, You Shook Me All Night Long, For Those About To Rock, Have A Drink On Me. All gone. Forever. Sorry, Coors Light fans.
Sweet Child O’ Mine (Guns & Roses)
Slash’s guitar lick is great – too bad it’s been sucked through smoke-filled lungs and pumped into the malformed fetus struggling to grow inside every unknowingly pregnant pile of trash at your local dive bar. Sheryl Crow’s embarrassing cover doesn’t help this song’s case for being blown into outer space.
Stairway to Heaven (Led Zeppelin)
Will anyone argue against this song being devoured by wolverines and subsequently vomited into the Marianas Trench? Pimple-pricked DJs across the country are closing out middle school dances with this insipid epic ballad of tripe. Gone.
Sweet Home Alabama/Freebird (Lynyrd Skynyrd)
I cannot fathom the idea of good people enjoying these ignorant, machismo-saturated, mongoloid circle-jerk power anthems. Okay, maybe if I’m from Alabama I’ll play that song when I forget where I am at the end of each day. And maybe if I’m a bird who was recently released from a cage, I’ll play the other. But for goddsakes, must the remainder of the population be subjected to this hee-haw banality for the rest of our lives? No – ban.
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9 Comments
more than a feeling by boston
EVERYTHING by bon jovi
van halen-post roth and even then alot of their stuff was horrible
hit me with your bet shot by pat benator
low by flo rida
kayne west
welcome to the jungle
black betty
the allman brothers except jessica for its inclusion in gh2
i want candy
waterloo
paradise by the dashboard light by meatloaf
american idiot
tears in heaven
pink floyd
fleetwood mac
thats about it for me
I completely agree with the Bon Jovi and Welcome To The Jungle additions. American Idiot – yes…but it’s too soon.
Pink Floyd I think needs to be narrowed down. How about “Wish You Were Here” “Another Brick In The Wall” and “Hey You”? Those can definitely go away for a while.
I think any song that lends itself to a fast food commercial should be banned.
i think we need to add “anything by george thoroghgood” to this list. if i have to hear “bad to the bone” again, i will step in front of a bus.
“Another Brick in the Wall Part 2″ by Pink Floyd
They have more than one song you know…It’s about time the general public started hearing some of it.
“Fergalicious” by Fergie
Fergie has not gained the right to make up words. She is in no way “licious” either. Unless Fergalicious means she tastes like plastic and sweat.
“Bad To The Bone” I am okay with banning. But “One Bourbon, One Scotch, and One Beer” is an awesome George Thoroghgood song.
Also – Nitpick: “Highway To Hell” is Bon Scott era.
touche, ice cream man.
that song still sucks.