Movies: November 2008
Uninformed Reviews – read about the movies I’ll never see!!!
Uninformed Reviews – read about the movies I’ll never see!!!
All aboard! This computer-animated film starring exotic fruit and a talking train is Sony’s answer to Madagascar 2.
The healing power of June cinema beckons. My wife left me, my kids routinely poison my cereal and the dog has lost interest in licking my face. I even smothered myself in honey and all I got was a weird rash. Luckily, no one can see my grotesquely blemished epidermis and battered pride in the back of the theater. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull I grew up loving Indiana Jones but I was disappointed with this [...]
Now that it’s May and I’m starting to get sunburned there’s only one place to go… Aunt Rhubarb’s house! Oh, and the movie theater because Aunt Rhubarb kicks me out when her “friend” Gary comes over. Speed Racer It ain’t fast. It ain’t racy. It ain’t a blast like Kevin Spacey. Actually, he’s not in this movie, I just wanted that to rhyme. This movie gave me a frikkin’ seizure. The bad kind. Thumb Score = B What Happens In [...]
April flowers bring May showers and this year’s crop smells great. Typically a dry time for the silver screen, 2008 is shaping up to be the best April since ’94. I can literally smell the popcorn burning. Oh, crap, my microwave is on fire! Forbidden Kingdom Ghosts, goblins and the female orgasm reign supreme in the lost Kingdom of Forbiddia. Bruce Lee’s still got it, ladies! Thumb Score = B+ Forgetting Sarah Marshall An updated version of 80’s comedy farce [...]