Home » Posts tagged 'jokes'

• 

  Perpetual Thought Machine – Two Squids, One Bucket Dominates Internet

  May 30, 2008 / Creek of Consciousness

  MTVh1 had Donald Trump III on Space Cribs last night and his residence pod was beyond typical extravagance. Sure, he had oil lamps and a hangar filled with luxury air cars but I almost feinted when they revealed his banana tree. I didn’t think anyone outside of the Royal Intergalactic family could afford a flarking banana tree! Kids say the darndest things. Like one time my nephew said, “Can I have an orange soda?” I was like, “Haha, what other [...]

  Continue reading »

• 

  "Tire On Asian Grandma" – Hottest New Carnival Attraction

  May 27, 2008 / Creek of Consciousness

  It’s weird how guarded we speak when not amongst friends. Recently, I overheard a couple discussing how traffic was the worst thing in the world and I really wanted to say, “Yeah, traffic’s bad but I’m pretty sure getting butt-raped by your Uncle Clown Face is worse.” Instead I said, “Yeah, traffic sucks!” Why do co-workers insist on wanting to hang out after work? We just hung out for eight hours! What’re you? My wife? If I wanted a wife [...]

  Continue reading »

• 

  Alien From Galaxy 420, "Take Me To Your Nachos"

  May 13, 2008 / Creek of Consciousness

  Olden times were stupid. Pegs legs and Morse code. Also, did antique hobos use wheelbarrows instead of shopping carts? The answer is…indubitably. I want to open a bar and call it “The Internet.” Mankind’s prayers will be answered and people can finally go to the The Internet to get drunk. Ironically, it will not have WiFi or even a computer cash register. Instead, I’ll use one of those old cash registers with the metal cranks and if people complain I’ll [...]

  Continue reading »

•  
• 

  Secrets Of The Catholic Church Reveal Puppet Pope

  May 5, 2008 / Creek of Consciousness

  Whenever I’m feeling particularly frustrated, I pop on a wonderful little diddy called Slaughtered by PanterA to cheer me up. Try it out for yourself PanterA – Slaughtered I see dudes who are clearly queer dating women and looking prettier than them. So as far as this girl is concerned, I wonder if the joy of shopping and exchanging clothes with her boyfriend is worth all the awkward butt sex. Waiting for the bus is exactly like being single. You’re [...]

  Continue reading »