Home » Posts tagged 'future comedy'

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  Perpetual Thought Machine – Caffeine Donuts May Cause Yummy Cancer

  July 31, 2008 / Creek of Consciousness

  I’ve been thinking of vacationing outside the dome but then I’d have to pick up my environsuit from the cleaners, rent artificial lung tanks and brush up on my Flargonese. “Gleetor Doo” means, “Where’s the toilet pad?” Whatever, Flargons! Lawyers are like herpes. Everyone’s got them and they’re expensive to suppress. Some animals that we’ve allowed to exist are cool but others should go back to extinction. Dreamflies are awesome but I hate those depressing Butterflies. I wish I could [...]

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  Perpetual Thought Machine – Two Squids, One Bucket Dominates Internet

  May 30, 2008 / Creek of Consciousness

  MTVh1 had Donald Trump III on Space Cribs last night and his residence pod was beyond typical extravagance. Sure, he had oil lamps and a hangar filled with luxury air cars but I almost feinted when they revealed his banana tree. I didn’t think anyone outside of the Royal Intergalactic family could afford a flarking banana tree! Kids say the darndest things. Like one time my nephew said, “Can I have an orange soda?” I was like, “Haha, what other [...]

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  Perpetual Thought Machine – Segway Bridge Construction Delayed Due To Lack Of Interest

  May 15, 2008 / Creek of Consciousness

  Sometimes, one little discovery can solve a great mystery. Like when your travel disc won’t start and suddenly you notice the Jupiter crystal is dirty or when Bea Arthur cast aside her lowly celebrity shell and was finally revealed as Mother of all CelibriGods. Have you seen the new Heinz squeeze bottle that only combines ketchup, mustard, BBQ sauce, and mayonnaise? Don’t tell me I have to buy a separate squeeze bottle for tartar sauce now. What is this? The [...]

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