June is like the Christmas of the summer and this year is rocking off my summer holiday socks. The world will be immersed in videogames because the sun is too hot and no one wants to have sex – so lets get gaming! Metal Gear Solid 4 Tick, tock, tick, tock – all four solid-metal gears of Dracula’s clock are deadly in this haunting new survival horror from the producers of Silent Hill: the movie. Milla Jovovich’s voice acting is [...]
Now that it’s May and I’m starting to get sunburned there’s only one place to go… Aunt Rhubarb’s house! Oh, and the movie theater because Aunt Rhubarb kicks me out when her “friend” Gary comes over. Speed Racer It ain’t fast. It ain’t racy. It ain’t a blast like Kevin Spacey. Actually, he’s not in this movie, I just wanted that to rhyme. This movie gave me a frikkin’ seizure. The bad kind. Thumb Score = B What Happens In [...]
April flowers bring May showers and this year’s crop smells great. Typically a dry time for the silver screen, 2008 is shaping up to be the best April since ’94. I can literally smell the popcorn burning. Oh, crap, my microwave is on fire! Forbidden Kingdom Ghosts, goblins and the female orgasm reign supreme in the lost Kingdom of Forbiddia. Bruce Lee’s still got it, ladies! Thumb Score = B+ Forgetting Sarah Marshall An updated version of 80’s comedy farce [...]
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