Stream Writing – Smokin’ Joe

*This is a completely un-edited piece of stream of consciousness writing. It’s a writing exercise that took about five minutes.

It is what it is! Enjoy*

It was a combination of cheese whiz and wasabi powder that killed the cook. There’s no telling what type of horrors ensued. Broken windows, missing teeth, widowed orphan babies. One thing is for sure – there will never be another hitter like Smokin’ Joe Mcgillicuty.

Smokin’ Joe loved meat and sex but not necessarily in that order. Sometimes he’d eat the sex and later have the meat. You never knew and you never asked. Smokin’ Joe would kick your teeth in if you used his tupper ware. He was an asshole that way.

But things changed for the better when Mary Lou the Bible sheep came along. Most sheep just Baa Baa and provide wool but Mary Lou had other plans. She was shedding salvation and could give peace of mind to any non-believer with a wink of her sheep-y eyeball.

Who was I talking about again? Oh yeah, Smokin’ Joe. See, he had a thing for sheep that started when he visited a petting zoo in Tuscaloosa. Fresh out of quarters for the grain pellets, Smokin Joe offered his heart to a sheep and that sheep ate it up.

The World Series was over and Smokin’ Joe decided it was time to return to the farm. Although he had a .300 batting average at the plate – he only hit .170 at home. Which subsequently forced him into the minor leagues of homes.

Baseball, baseball – whose got a match? Someone needs to burn down the past for Smokin’ Joe and unleash his sheep future. I would do it but I’m busy playing crochet with the Smother’s Brothers. I’m losing.

The End.