Secrets Of The Catholic Church Reveal Puppet Pope

Whenever I’m feeling particularly frustrated, I pop on a wonderful little diddy called Slaughtered by PanterA to cheer me up. Try it out for yourself PanterA – Slaughtered

I see dudes who are clearly queer dating women and looking prettier than them. So as far as this girl is concerned, I wonder if the joy of shopping and exchanging clothes with her boyfriend is worth all the awkward butt sex.

Waiting for the bus is exactly like being single. You’re just standing around all alone in the rainy cold waiting anxiously for your bus to arrive and when it finally does you don’t realize how bad it smells until it takes your money, the doors shut and you can’t wait for it to drop you back into the rainy cold unknown. That’s why I’m buying a bus and naming it the hooker express.

The shower is the ultimate think tank. It’s quiet, private and what better way is there to brainstorm than with a handful of soapy balls? Unless it’s someone else’s hand on your soapy balls. Then it’s impossible to form a complete sentence let alone brainstorm.

Public bathroom graffiti is often disagreeable. Lately I’ve been noticing the words “God Shits” written sloppily on toilet stalls and there’s no way that’s true. Unless, they’re not using “shit” to describe defecation but instead are crudely conveying the idea of God caring about us and therefore “giving a shit”. God is pretty mysterious but not nearly as mysterious as the word shit.

For all the sexy car washes represented in the media – I’ve yet to see one in real life. I’m really sad about that.

I’m tired of eating and drinking being the only ways to spend time socially. Science should invent some kind of primordial ooze tub that we can all lie in together and exchange brain chemicals. Who’s with me? Grace, get science on the phone. Grace? GRAAAAAAAAAACE!!!!!!!