Mojo Humphries Will Eat Your Goodie Bag
My father once sat me down and said, “Son, this is very difficult for me to say but…graafhghxxxxyyyeson.” I thought pensively for a moment and replied, “Fruuuufffffllleexxle!.” We both had a good cry that day.
Yeah, I drink toilet duck. I call it the “TD”. Sittin’ around the crib, sippin’ on TD. Some punk came over with a bottle of some Lysol bathroom cleaner bullshit and I capped his ass for frontin’. If it ain’t the duck – I don’t give a fuck!
Sometimes people misinterpret sarcasm as a genuine statement. Like, I saw this guy wearing a hideous suit so I said, “Nice suit.” But then he said, “Thanks!” Dammit, I messed that up completely.
I saw two crows fighting recently and it reminded me of the movie Boyz ‘N’ Da Hood. Not because they were black but because one was named Ice Cube.
A good name for a cat is Ricky Retardo. A good name for a retarded person is Whiskers.
A few black people rolled up at 7Eleven recently in one of the most tricked out pimpmobiles I’ve ever seen. As I circled the cherry-red Oldsmobile convertible with amazement, I stopped the driver and said, “Sweet ride, dude.” Instantly, I noticed disappointment in his eyes – years of customizing his gangster wheels were crushed by a passing compliment from a short, pale white boy from Upstate New York. Sorry, homey. I should have just walked away…
Michael Jackson passed away recently and I’m pretty upset. The world will never know what “Jah-moh” meant. I like to think it had something to do with world peace and monkeys but it’s probably just the onomatopoeia for “crouch-grab!”.
(2 votes, average: 4.00 out of 5)
I think a good name for a cat would be Viggo Mortensen.
That man’s penis is clearly visible!
I’m pretty sure that’s a package of rotten hot dogs, GM.
“if it ain’t the duck – I don’t give a fuck!”
Fucking superb! I laughed out loud. BTW – that photo is revolting.
Yeah, Tabor sent me that picture a long time ago and I just found it again recently. I honestly didn’t notice the rotten breakfast sausage links in his lap until GM mentioned it!
Cover that man’s ‘hood with a bottle of duck.
You know, i remember that picture too, from forever ago. But not until reading what GM said, did I notice his junk. Not only am I laughing, I feel a bit more straight.
Once you notice it, though – it’s kind of hypnotizing…
I’d like to see that on a pendulum string.
i thought that was a fat woman until i looked closer. fat women do have a propensity to grow facial hair and i was reminded of that scene from deuce bigalo: “did you say steak?” i’d hit it regadless. they say you can never go back.
I’m going to say it is a woman – who is warming up spoiled breakfast meats in her crotch.
NO DICK PICS PLEASE