Hi, My Name Is…

Yo, my name is JR and I got a kid. Considered an accident at the time, visiting her is the happiest three days of my week.. If you don’t believe me, check my tattoo. It’s my baby girl’s name. Nah, not that one. That’s a dragon.

Hello, my name is Kay – part-time blogger, full-time vegan. My passion is to spread the harmonious message of eco-conscious living. We are free to choose our path on God’s green Earth regardless of class, creed or sexual orientation. Sign my petition or you will kill a dozen Polar Bears.

What’s up? My name is Craig and I work the deep fryer at a dive bar. I went to school for Communications but you’ll never catch my ass in a cubicle. Corporate drones make me sick. Can I bum a smoke?

Que pasa? My name is Masood and I play ping pong behind a hot dog shack. I consider myself a totally laid back dude who loves chillin’ with brews and bros. What? Steve was talkin’ shit about me? Fuck that guy. Oh, it was Tim? Man, fuck him too. Wait, one-arm Tim? Fuuuuuck him.

Hey, my name is Katie and I’m an assistant retail manager at a thrift store. I work here so I can get discounts on edgy clothes but what I really want is a pile of kids, debt and a house in the suburbs. Maybe a gated community?

Hai, my name is kewtiepie90 and I live in cyberspace. My social life defines my personality so please call me anytime. No voice, though, just text. Using your voice on the phone is like second base, lol.

Salutations, I am a service robot in Fourth Sector Neo Manhattan. Aiding humans is not only my prime directive but also the apex of my hierarchy for emotion-simulated operations. Now, hurry up and fix that toaster, human, or I’ll laser beam your inferior face off.