Here’s a quick idea about a fake pill that fulfills dreams. Lets make it become millionaires because people are stupid and we’re greedy. I think it will work.

While collecting specimens for his Centipede collection, Andric gets to hear the story of how his mother and father met…

My father once sat me down and said, “Son, this is very difficult for me to say but…graafhghxxxxyyyeson.” I thought pensively for a moment and replied, “Fruuuufffffllleexxle!.” We both had a good cry that day.

Yeah, I drink toilet duck. I call it the “TD”. Sittin’ around the crib, sippin’ on TD. Some punk came over with a bottle of some Lysol bathroom cleaner bullshit and I capped his ass for frontin’. If it ain’t the duck – I don’t give a fuck!

Sometimes people misinterpret sarcasm as a genuine statement. Like, I saw this guy wearing a hideous suit so I said, “Nice suit.” But then he said, “Thanks!” Dammit, I messed that up completely.

I saw two crows fighting recently and it reminded me of the movie Boyz ‘N’ Da Hood. Not because they were black but because one was named Ice Cube.

A good name for a cat is Ricky Retardo. A good name for a retarded person is Whiskers.

A few black people rolled up at 7Eleven recently in one of the most tricked out pimpmobiles I’ve ever seen. As I circled the cherry-red Oldsmobile convertible with amazement, I stopped the driver and said, “Sweet ride, dude.” Instantly, I noticed disappointment in his eyes – years of customizing his gangster wheels were crushed by a passing compliment from a short, pale white boy from Upstate New York. Sorry, homey. I should have just walked away…

Michael Jackson passed away recently and I’m pretty upset. The world will never know what “Jah-moh” meant. I like to think it had something to do with world peace and monkeys but it’s probably just the onomatopoeia for “crouch-grab!”.

Greeting and salutations, all in the internet realm. Jerry Bloop here with another one of life’s lessons. This time I discuss the benefits of napping as a means of avoiding responsibility and troubles.

If you’re director Todd (Old School) Phillips, you don’t just make a comedy, you make a movie. The Hangover, besides hilarious, is also a really well-made flick full of novel editing choices, a great soundtrack selection, and a clever narrative you wouldn’t expect to find in a movie about four dopey guys and their colossal hangover.

It’s sort of a mystery movie. We don’t see the fun night in Vegas, we see the aftermath, when the friends are left with a bunch of baffling questions – where’d this baby come from? Where did their friend disappear to? Why are there guys shooting at them?

The movie stays fresh as your favorite muffin as they try to recount their night, discovering new leads and clues in their pockets and along their path of drunken destruction. Plot threads and gags get introduced constantly. It’s like a dumbass investigation movie. If Old School is the stupid, frat boy version of Fight Club, Hangover is the stupid, drunk version of Memento.

Of course no one would care about the clever plot if there wasn’t a fantastic cast to tie it all together. Zach Galifianakis, who I fell in man-love with since noticing him on Tim and Eric, is the star of the show. The weirdo outcast of the group, he bares his ass, says outrageous things and slices his palm open for blood pacts. Nearly every word out of his bearded maw gets a laugh (“Pants at a time like this?!”), if there’s one reason to see the movie, it’s for this guy.

Ed Helms plays a convincing wussy beta male who lets his bitchy girlfriend push him around. He’s sort of the straight man of the group, but he gets more and more desperate as things escalate. Anyone who’s seen him on The Daily Show knows he has what it takes to squeeze some delicious, chocolatey snickers out of you.

Bradley Cooper, who I may have caught once in an episode of Nip/Tuck, is the fun-loving risk taker of the group. And he’s good! The three of them have some of the best chemistry I’ve seen in a comedy, or any movie, in a while. They’re a ton of fun to watch and root for.

And that annoying guy from National Treasure does a decent job as the guy who disappears for the whole movie.

The rest of the cast doesn’t really amount to anything more than cameo roles, but hey, it’s always fun to see Jeffrey Tambor, Rob Riggle, and a bunch of other familiar faces you’d never expect like Heather Graham and Mike Tyson.

The Hangover ranks up there as one of this summer’s best. It’s definitely the year’s best comedy. After two mall cop movies and a rom-com without the com, it’s kind of a shoe-in. Shoot, it’s almost a reason to celebrate. Just keep track of your drink, okay?

***Tim Magus is Julius Bloop’s film reviewer. Visit his website - Grump Factory***

Welcome to the brand new JuliusBloop.com.

Highlights include

Front page category navigation, image-enhanced archives, rotating featured articles, previous/next post navigation and a bunch of other AWESOMENESS!

It’s still a work in progress - I’ll be filling in the archives over the next week or so and adding the Floating Together comics…

But what do you think so far?

Also….JULIUS BLOOP T-SHIRTS

Here is a sneak peak at the new JuliusBloop.com.

I am hoping to launch the new site next week.

Also, I have the t-shirts and they look great. I will provide ordering information as part of the inauguration of the new website. I am very excited and I’m sure you are too.

So hold onto your Bloop hats. It’s all happening…very soon.