These Kids Have No Game
I am at the mercy of children for approximately 86 hours per week.
I speak, of course, of my time spent in the World of Warcraft. I am a Gnome Warlock, a Master Alchemist and an Auction House tycoon.
I rule.
I try to be friendly to the children who play this game. There are lots of them, so I try my best to mentor these kids and develop their WoW skills. I even say fun, crotchety mentor-things like, “I have forgotten more about Arthas than you’ll ever know!” but still…they don’t appreciate me.
Even when I invite some novice dwarf into my guild, when no one else in Trade Chat will even take them seriously, they treat me like dirt. Do they not understand that I’m a modern day Fagin who can teach them to make an honest, honorable living in the vasts of Azeroth and The Outlands? A venerable, loving professor of both the Demonic and the Azerothian academic?
No. No, they do NOT understand and it’s testing my patience more than retrieving the Twin Blades of Azzinoth from Illidan Stormrage of the Black Temple!
I invite these little scamps into my guild “NickelbackFanz4Lyfe” and take them under my wing. I explain the principles of micro AND macro economics as they relate to the Azerothian economy; I test them on buying raw materials low and selling high, I quiz them on the opportunity costs of jumping around in Ironforge when they could be out earning Honor, XP or just letting everyone in the World of Warcraft know that yes, Nickelback still rules.
And what do they do? HAHA. Not what I tell them, that’s for sure.
Here’s a perfect example:
FlyinHaiAgin:“ok u little fgt why are u not out gathering raw mats 4 us to sell”
Meatsauce12: “wat”
FlyinHaiAgin: “ok w/e give me those herbs so i can make you rage potions”
Meatsauce12: “no my dad is making me join his guild bye”
**Meatsauce12 has quit NickelbackFanz4Lyfe.**
Are you fucking kidding me? YOUR FATHER’S GUILD? This is the childish shit I have to deal with.
First, no wonder you’re such a dickheaded little queer – your dad plays WoW with you.
Second, you quit my guild? MY guild? We already established that your dad sucks, so his guild probably sucks, too. But hey, have fun in that sucky guild teeming with suckitude. I’m sure it’ll be lots better than learning from the best.
Fuck you, your dad and your 6th grade friends.
And this is what I put up with day in and day out. These little turds don’t treat me like the professional that I am. They weren’t taught to appreciate experience or respect their elders. They don’t even want to get better at the game! They just want to play with their shitty retard friends and pray they grow a pube.
When you kids finally wise up and want to Quest With the Best, send a whisper to FlyinHaiAgin and we’ll talk.
Hmm… If I go out and get another game card (Which I might be doing in less than a week), I’ll join your guild. It’s not every day that I get to meet another Nickelback fan.
TAKE ME UNDER YOUR WING!
REALM: MALFURION
I had to change my real Malfurion screenname/guild name to protect myself from l33t hax0rz…
Let me know if you make a toon on Malfurion. You can come under my wing even though it smells a little cuz I don’t wear deoderant.
Wow, Gerald – it looks like you’ve found yourself a new apprentice rather quickly.
I’m glad to help you get exposure for your interesting hobby.
…I meant highwind’s wing. Not your stinky oderized one.
I don’t know what a highwind’s wing is but it sounds like a fantastic World of Warcraft item.
Gerald, have you encountered this?
I have never heard of that item and wowwiki.com turns up nothing. BUT maybe it came out in the 2.4 patch and if it’s truly l33t I will have it in no time and report back to you!
‘Tis a cover-up.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=P7F3O6WYfHQ&feature=related
click to about the 23 to 25 second mark to watch the lead singer of your favorite band get hit in the head with a rock.
totally looks like it hurt.
that is incredible. thank you.
wow… slinging homo remarks because the kid wanted to spend time with his dad… you’re totally a professional.
Yeah, says the douchebag whose got a dozen pictures of some trashy teenie-whore all over his DOODER85 website.
Wanna know why the kid wanted to play WoW with his dad? It’s because his other choice was to hang out with slags like that blue-bugeyed bitch in your pictures.
He chose his dad.
Fuck you, fuck Canada and your website sucks.
I’m all torn up inside. Truly. I apologize for the critique on your career choice and professionalism, I’ve *obviously* made the wrong assumption.
I suspect he just gave what he though was a valid excuse to leave your guild without causing hard feelings. Sorry for the bad luck.
CAREER CHOICE AND PROFESSIONALISM?
Remember the first paragraph? Where I told you I was a sophomore in high school?
That’s my career.
While you might be “[s]orry for the bad luck,” I’m sorry that you’re retarded.
Canada sucks.
86 hours a week… that would be more time than spent in high school no? Also, there’s no mention of your education in the first paragraph.
Paragraph: a distinct portion of written or printed matter dealing with a particular idea, usually beginning with an indentation on a new line.
Also, I was referring to your lack of professionalism in regard to your position as gaming correspondent for Juliusbloop.com, as is noted at the end of your “article”.
Aaron,
I confused my two diary entries. I assumed, based on your rabid fanaticism of The Gunderson, that you were familiar with the newest entry. If you haven’t read it yet, please do. You’ll see that I’m a high school sophomore at Dr. Bernard C Watson Academy for Boys. GO TIGERS!!!! lol
There are, at last count, 168 hours in a week, ~29 of which is spent in the confines of the Dr. Bernard C Watson Prison for Boys, 86 of which I spend in Azeroth, and the bulk of the remainder in my bedroom reading Manga and Choose Your Own Adventure books.
If you refer to the first portion of my second diary entry, you’ll understand a bit more about me.
And, since you’re a fan of unnecessary quotation marks for the purpose of adding a bit more vitriol to a worthless comment, I hasten to point out that you’re a “douchebag.”
Fuck Canada, buddeh.
hahahah
Yes you keep slinging around the Canada sucks bit instead of actually addressing the topic on hand. I have no desire to learn more about you, nor am I an avid fan(atic). I have been given no reason to read any more of your work as you haven’t been able to defend your statements in this single ridiculous waste of webspace.
It’s extremely disheartening that someone so young could be such a bigot (just in case you missed it, that was the initial point). I’m not sure why you think that perpetuating hate is an effectual tactic for taking on the world – you’d think any exposure to a prison would have exposed you to the downsides to such attitudes.
“you haven’t been able to defend your statements”
What are you talking about? Perpetuating hate? Guess what, I’ve got standards. And guess who gave me those standards? The Lord.
Time in a prison? A bigot?
You’re the one who assigned a sexual identity to a 12 year old. Seems a bit young to validate the definition of “queer,” a word that is, believe it or not, older than Halifax itself, as “this 12 year old boy performs fellatio on other males.”
Context, context, context, and the same goes for “fgt,” which spoken over the telephone to your mother would have remarkably different connotations than when said in trade chat in Azeroth.
If you want to understand better why I think Canada sucks, the lack of logic in your argument and the offense of sexualizing children is a damn good start.
I am quite aware of the origins of the term, and quite aware of how it’s used in today’s language. As you haven’t been speaking in the Queen’s english to this point…
I realize that ingame chat isdifferent, in that it is ruled by the 12 year old homophobic male… last I checked however, preteens weren’t the paragon of social acceptability however (still bigoted and reportable language btw). However, this here and now is not an online game, this is life, and the use of language is both ridiculous and completely unnecessary. By using this vernacular you are participating in the perpetuation of hate crimes, discrimination, and the lack of respect these individuals get because they happen to have been born gay. Innocent as it may seem to refer to someone as a “fgt” in game, all of this is happening when that is uttered. Then you post it in a blog entry for all to see taking it out of the game and into the mainstream.
Like it or not, your behaviour is that of a bigot. If that is not how you intended it to come across, you may want to consider revising your writing style. If it is how you intended it to come across, well then we have nothing further to discuss as my initial concern has been adequately documented. I thank you for finally addressing (offhand and non-sensical as it was) it.
lol Aaron his other posts are worth reading just for the stupidity of it all. Gratz on calling the fat fuck for what he is, creeps like him ruin the trade channel for the rest of us.
D.
Aaron,
Queen’s English or vernacular? Which is it? Are you going to tell me which one I believe in, or do I get to decide for myself?
The only thing I’m going to “consider revising” is suffering asstarded Canadian fools.
You’re too verbose and incredibly insecure about your education. Relax, buddeh. Stop trying so hard to be an intellectual.
Dani,
There’s *one* other post. ONE. Subject/verb agreement, sweetheart.
Interesting how saying “fgt” in the context of a game is a sin, yet calling me a “fat fuck” is acceptable. Maybe you want to talk to my mom about the thyroid problem I’ve got? Or am I still a fat fuck even though it’s a medical issue that I’m struggling to address?
I bet you’re Canadian, too.
i love this
the internet rules
i think everyone needs to calm down a bit. it’s just a videogame.
it’s my life
Gerry,
My name is Gerry too! I go by Gerald or The Gunderson or General Gunderson or Gundo but Gerry is ok once you get to know me. My hot gf calls me Ger-Bear LOL
Thank you for being part of the fan club. My mom took like half my summer vacation away so I haven’t pontificated as much as I’d like but stay tuned, I promise there will be more!!!