Craigslist Personal Ads Are Full Of Weirdos

At first glance this ad is misleading. It reads as if some creepy trucker-dude (or old lesbian) with a black Michelob hat and ragged-mustache wants to get his freak on. But its not.

It’s actually fabled 70′s cartoon icon – ‘Stachie!

‘Stachie was the star of several classic animated porn flicks that were the adult industry’s effort to attract the Looney Tunes-obsessed youth market. While facing a massive pair of sexy lady legs, ‘Stachie! would look outward, tongue flailing and give the thumbs up sign.

Parents revolted, children started having sex and a new baby boom began. Cue Ronald Reagan. The companies behind ‘Stachie! bankrupted and judging by the grey lines in the middle of his tongue, he has fallen on hard times.

See, the secret sustenance to his survival is the eating the muffy meal for which he was created, much like blood is to a vampire. Without it, ‘Stachie withers away and starts to look a lot like Joan Rivers.

But no one wants to be serviced by a walking mouth wearing a cowboy hat when they can get the real thing from their spouse, milkman or alcoholic roommate. So ‘Stachie! must take whatever he can get in order to feed. Thus, Craigslist.org, is his only sanctuary.