Subscribe
Become a fan
Videogames: November 2008 Holiday Review Blowout
Uninformed Reviews are a detailed critique of games I’ve never played.
Home » Editorials » Uninformed Reviews
-
-
Movies: November 2008
Uninformed Reviews – read about the movies I’ll never see!!!
-
Videogames: October 2008
Sony killer app finally arrives and it couldn’t possibly look more boring if it starred a little ambiguous creature jumping around levels some ugly retard made in his parent’s basement.
-
Uninformed Reviews – Movies: October 2008
Uninformed Reviews is your guide to movies I’ve never seen.
-
Videogames – September 2008
Nine Megamans are all you need now that this game is back again for the first time in forever!
-
Movies – September 2008
All aboard! This computer-animated film starring exotic fruit and a talking train is Sony’s answer to Madagascar 2.
-
Uninformed Reviews – Videogames: August 2008
The August sun is hotter than Hell which only means that the August videogames are hotter than Hell Hell! Madden NFL 09 They keep cranking a new edition of this game year after year and I fail to see much improvement. I know that Steven Madden is the biggest name in the National Footwear League but this franchise needs to be taken out back and buried in a box. A shoebox. Score = Shoes Braid French it, twist it and [...]
-
Uninformed Reviews – Videogames: July 2008
With all of the great blockbusters in the movie theater it’s easy to forget about the blockbusters in your videogame theaters! Final Fantasy IV It’s hard to believe this mediocre monster-hunting franchise has lasted four installments but Retro Studios keeps cranking them out. I have a feeling, though, that this will indeed be the last one. The final fantasy, if you will. Score = 4.3 Soul Caliber IV .22 .44 .Soul! Choose your caliber and blast through nine frenetic levels [...]
-
Uninformed Reviews – Movies: July 2008
Summer blockbusters are upon us and I’m happier than a gay flower in a cotton candy bowl of rainbows. The Dark Knight Dingle Donk (Jack Black) is a mild mannered mailman from modern day Minnesota until he’s accidentally sent back to medieval times as a court jester! My favorite line is when Dingle Donk spills a goblet of wine on the Dark Knight and says, “It looks good on your chainmail…really brings out the color of your helmet!” Also, the [...]
-
Uninformed Reviews – Movies: June 2008
The healing power of June cinema beckons. My wife left me, my kids routinely poison my cereal and the dog has lost interest in licking my face. I even smothered myself in honey and all I got was a weird rash. Luckily, no one can see my grotesquely blemished epidermis and battered pride in the back of the theater. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull I grew up loving Indiana Jones but I was disappointed with this [...]
-
Uninformed Reviews – Videogames: June 2008
June is like the Christmas of the summer and this year is rocking off my summer holiday socks. The world will be immersed in videogames because the sun is too hot and no one wants to have sex – so lets get gaming! Metal Gear Solid 4 Tick, tock, tick, tock – all four solid-metal gears of Dracula’s clock are deadly in this haunting new survival horror from the producers of Silent Hill: the movie. Milla Jovovich’s voice acting is [...]
-
Uninformed Reviews – Movies: May
Now that it’s May and I’m starting to get sunburned there’s only one place to go… Aunt Rhubarb’s house! Oh, and the movie theater because Aunt Rhubarb kicks me out when her “friend” Gary comes over. Speed Racer It ain’t fast. It ain’t racy. It ain’t a blast like Kevin Spacey. Actually, he’s not in this movie, I just wanted that to rhyme. This movie gave me a frikkin’ seizure. The bad kind. Thumb Score = B What Happens In [...]
RSS Feed
Email
Facebook
Youtube