Merry Christmas to all the weirdos who read this comedy blog. Thank you for supporting and spreading the retarded message of Julius Bloop. I will be taking a week long break from this website as to celebrate Christmas with my family. Enjoy the Holidays and see you in a week. ~Bloop
There’s never enough time in the day and that’s why cloning is necessary. My clone will eat peanut butter cookies by the sleeve and have a harem of smokin’ hot girlfriends – one to represent each race. But I better have some kind of psychic connection with my clone to vicariously experience his life or else what’s the point? Actually, forget it – I can’t allow this to turn into Double Impact, the movie with two Van Dammes. No one [...]
Well, it’s that time of year again – when families travel hundreds of miles to reunite their love… By watching movies at the multiplex! The stars come out for holiday films and the red carpet is ready. This year is full of heroes and zeros – stinkers and clinkers. So which films are worthy of your $90 million dollar popcorn buckets? Julius Bloop’s Uniformed Reviews is here to tell you! Let’s get this party started by getting the ball rolling… [...]
CSI – North Pole Here is a brand new short from my friends at Blame Society Productions. Known mostly for their Chad Vader series, they have dozens of other projects including McCourt’s In Session and my personal favorite, Super Shooter. I figured with Christmas about a week away, I should holiday this place up by showcasing a yuletide spoof. Enjoy.
If this was medieval times and I was King, I’d commission the greatest bakers in the land to make a dragon-sized donut. I’d take one bite out of it and declare it the most delicious treat among the living. Then I’d force my guards to toss the remainder of it in the bottomless pit of Grogom. That’ll probably teach ‘em something. I’m an awesome King. A manhattan is exactly like fruit punch except it’s made out of whiskey, makes you [...]
A recently uncovered document reveals the original version of the Notorious B.I.G.’s hit song, Gimme The Loot. A long deceased ancestor and minstrel named Lord Smalls scribed this ballad onto parchment sometime during the Middle Ages. It is unknown whether or not Lord Smalls was notorious during his time but we believe from his lyrics that he had experience robbing, thieving and leaving victims in the fosse or as it’s known in modern times – the gutter. Notorious B.I.G.’s Gimme [...]
The six-year-old curmudgeon is here to give real advice to real questions from yahoo answers. You can click each question’s link to view the actual website where I am helping people learn life’s lessons. Question #1 – How Do I Ignore Them?: ok at my school there are a lot of wierd kids. Theres one kid how says inaproprit joke all throw the day. and other just take about thing that should not be talked at school. They curis all [...]
Hank Sugarman’s Around The House! #1
Next time you’re cutting up those plastic loops that hold together a six-pack of cans make sure you say, “There you go, ducks. Saved you again.” Then, later that evening when you’re at a fancy restaurant eating roasted duck slathered in duck sauce you can say, “Ha Ha – fooled ya, Daffy!” I’m cynical enough with a full head of hair – I can’t imagine being bald. Every tragedy in life would be compounded by my baldness. I stubbed my [...]
The holiday season is upon us and that means the best videogames of the year are ready to play! I haven’t had a chance to play any of these games yet but I’m pretty sure I know what they’re about based on their cover art. So fire up your Playstation 2 and Gamecube consoles because santa clause is coming to town. Videogame town! Super Mario Galaxy The Mario Bros. are back and out of this world…literally! Collect mushrooms and warp [...]
I awoke from my third nap of the day to find Glimmerglass Retirement Manor entirely deserted. Clarence Phelps has vacated the canasta table, Henrietta Masterson’s half-knitted afghan is draped limply across her favorite chair and I can’t hear a single whooping cough coming from the kitchen. Where did everyone go? They couldn’t have gone for a walk with Beatrice Barrett’s knees recently acting up. Gardening is definitely out of the question as a result of Fergie Malone’s chronic sciatica and [...]
Space Talk from Dimension Eugene – Connie Chung
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