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Craigslist Personal Ads Are Full Of Weirdos

March 31, 2008 / Editorials

The internet is a great place to find a soul mate. Simply type a list of your favorite movies or briefly explain your interest in food and Cupid’s arrow will be arriving shortly. Craigslist personal ads have a particular knack for being at times bizarre, confusing and quite often embarrassing. Let’s take a look at a few choice ads from my city of Portland, Oregon. NOTE: Click the picture to see the actual ad and icon description. Impossibly Large Cock [...]

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Maybe This Only Amuses Me – Bob Pitches a Movie

March 30, 2008 / Maybe This Only Amuses Me

Bob pitches a movie Bob Odenkirk has created a hilarious short film for the folks at Super Deluxe in which he plays both himself and an out-of-touch movie executive. If you’re not familiar with Bob, he is best known for starring alongside David Cross in their legendary 90′s sketch comedy show Mr. Show with Bob and David. He has since worked as producer on Tim and Eric’s various Adult Swim projects and directed a few films including 2003 cult hit [...]

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Puppet Porn Outsells Human Porn On The Streets of Sesame

March 27, 2008 / Creek of Consciousness

A change of clothing can alter your outlook on life. The transition from pajama pants to jeans is equivalent to giving a dirty hobo a hot shower or giving an old virgin a huge pile of sex. Sunday is national time travel day. Weird Al Yankovic and Tenacious D are decent but the best musical comedy act of all time is Limp Bizkit. Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water is the funniest album title to reference a butthole [...]

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These Kids Have No Game

March 26, 2008 / Diary of a Warcraft Player

I am at the mercy of children for approximately 86 hours per week.

I speak, of course, of my time spent in the World of Warcraft. I am a Gnome Warlock, a Master Alchemist and an Auction House tycoon.

I rule.

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New buttons, network and diaper meat.

March 25, 2008 / Updates

Dear readers, I would like to bring to your attention the new buttons located in the sidebar that link to various Julius Bloop productions. They’re a sexier way to promote The Journey of Merrill, Potato Trash, Hobo Village and Agent Kootex. Now, I would also like to know who has been accessing JuliusBloop.com by googling “diaper meat”. The culprit has visited multiple times a week for a few months now and I’m wondering why he/she/it doesn’t simply learn the URL [...]

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Uninformed Reviews – Movies: March 2008

March 24, 2008 / Uninformed Reviews

March is when a film you’ve never heard of – fails to become a classic you’ll never forget! Horton Hears A Who Based on a children’s book written by Walt Disney that was inspired by a comedy routine by Laurel and Hardy that was influenced by an encounter between a mentally disabled child and an intoxicated Babe Ruth – this movie’s got it all! Thumb Score = A Bank Job More like Blow Job. Seriously, this movie details the struggles [...]

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Maybe This Only Amuses Me – David Lynch: Problem Solver #4

March 22, 2008 / Maybe This Only Amuses Me

David Lynch: Problem Solver #4 Chris Dotson has created a series of YouTube videos impersonating surrealist film director David Lynch. For those unfamiliar with the legendary artist, check out this hysterical video where Lynch explains his opinion of viewing movies on a cellphone. Dotson’s Lynch impersonation is spot on and this particular episode includes Twin Peak’s Log Lady and some great Blue Velvet references. Enjoy.

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Nickelodeon's Kocain Kids Karnival Is Kancelled

March 20, 2008 / Creek of Consciousness

We all need to re-consider our snap judgments of certain types of people. For instance, perhaps crackheads need the undeniable energy of crack rock because they are really ambitious. A meat thermometer is still the most accurate way to test the hotness of a piece of meat. After insertion, measure the time it takes for your meat thermometer to pop. This will determine the hotness of said meat. If you jam it in and wiggle it around until the meat [...]

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5 Secret Ways To Generate Traffic For Your Blog (I Mean My Blog)

March 18, 2008 / Editorials

Jesus and the Bible are important. So is Israel, Iraq, the War on Terror and 9/11. Let’s face it, at the end of the day, parenting and diet tips are hard to come by. Does Osama Bin Laden wonder how single or gay parents effectively raise children or where iron chefs like Rachael Ray and Emeril Lagasse get their famous cooking recipes? Wonder no more because ESPN, Playboy, and The Disney Channel present five secret ways to generate traffic to [...]

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2008 Floating Together Calendar – On Sale Now

March 17, 2008 / Updates

JuliusBloop.com is proud to unveil the 2008 Floating Together Calendar. The perfect gift for Mother’s Day or other calendar-gifting appropriate events. Julius Bloop’s marketing and research development team realizes it may appear silly to release a calendar three months into the new year because the calendar-starved masses have, no doubt, been satiated and all other consumers could give a crap about calendars. Nevertheless, in order to stay competitive in the comedy calendar market, Floating Together – The Calendar is here [...]

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Maybe This Only Amuses Me – Geena Davis Sketchies II Entry

March 15, 2008 / Maybe This Only Amuses Me

Geena Davis: Heaven On Wheels YouTube is currently holding a sketch comedy contest called Sketchies II. The criteria was simply to create a funny video that included music and a road trip. Well, as you can imagine, the majority of the twenty videos you can vote for are hack in concept, obnoxious in execution, and produced by people that mistakingly think they’re funny. Some of the videos are downright painful to sit through. A few are decent such as Prowlaman’s: [...]

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Tom Brady Look-a-like Locates Earth's Vagina

March 13, 2008 / Creek of Consciousness

Dogs and cats are boring. I want an exotic pet…like a flying squirrel, a fruit bat or a drag queen. Drag queens account for 40% of the makeup market. It isn’t all for their faces, though. Some of it is needed for the thick circle of lipstick they apply to their tucked away penis holes. Single dudes don’t really like videogames – they just play them because they don’t have girlfriends. Then, when they get girlfriends – they only play [...]

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