Home » Archives

Editorials

Page 18 of 21« First...10 «16 171819 20 »...Last »

Emo Bulls Refuse to Run In Pamploma.

Written on 14 Dec, 2007 at 3:43 in Creek of Consciousness | viewed 33 times | 0 Comments

If this was medieval times and I was King, I’d commission the greatest bakers in the land to make a dragon-sized donut. I’d take one bite out of it and declare it the most delicious treat among the living. Then... (Continue reading)

Give Me The Lute – The Lost Ballad of Lord Smalls

Written on 13 Dec, 2007 at 5:22 in Editorials | viewed 164 times | 4 Comments

A recently uncovered document reveals the original version of the Notorious B.I.G.’s hit song, Gimme The Loot. A long deceased ancestor and minstrel named Lord Smalls scribed this ballad onto parchment sometime during the Middle Ages. It is unknown... (Continue reading)

Advice From The Six-Year-Old Curmudgeon

Written on 11 Dec, 2007 at 1:34 in Editorials | viewed 39 times | 0 Comments

The six-year-old curmudgeon is here to give real advice to real questions from yahoo answers. You can click each question’s link to view the actual website where I am helping people learn life’s lessons. Question #1 – How Do I Ignore... (Continue reading)

Scotch and Cigars: The Lecherous Grandpa Diet Since 1494

Written on 8 Dec, 2007 at 2:44 in Creek of Consciousness | viewed 48 times | 1 Comment

Next time you’re cutting up those plastic loops that hold together a six-pack of cans make sure you say, “There you go, ducks. Saved you again.” Then, later that evening when you’re at a fancy restaurant eating roasted duck slathered... (Continue reading)

Pardon me, Rudolph – but where did everyone go?

Written on 4 Dec, 2007 at 8:03 in Editorials | viewed 55 times | 0 Comments

I awoke from my third nap of the day to find Glimmerglass Retirement Manor entirely deserted. Clarence Phelps has vacated the canasta table, Henrietta Masterson’s half-knitted afghan is draped limply across her favorite chair and I can’t hear a single... (Continue reading)

New Study Suggests Bald Assholes Think Stuffed Koala Bears Are Babies.

Written on 29 Nov, 2007 at 3:39 in Creek of Consciousness | viewed 68 times | 5 Comments

Grandfather clocks are too expensive. Unless grandfathers actually turn into clocks when they die – then they’d be totally worth it. I’d buy the Rodney Dangerfield grandfather clock so that time would be hilarious and get no respect. The happiest place... (Continue reading)

Regulate – The Heroic Tale of Warren G and Nate Dogg

Written on 27 Nov, 2007 at 3:51 in Editorials | viewed 44 times | 2 Comments

It was a clear black night/A clear white moon/Warren G was on the streets/Tryin’ to consume… So begins Regulate, the epic poem by gangster bards Warren G and Nate Dogg. Like Homer and Virgil before them, these Long Beach City (L.B.C.)... (Continue reading)

Space Gas on Mars has reached 9 trillion Glorps per Gallon.

Written on 21 Nov, 2007 at 7:17 in Creek of Consciousness | viewed 28 times | 0 Comments

... (Continue reading)

The Top 5 Reasons Why Tigger Is An Asshole

Written on 20 Nov, 2007 at 8:37 in Editorials | viewed 30 times | 5 Comments

Tigger is not only the biggest asshole in the Hundred Acre Wood but the entire cartoon community. Today we will take a look at the top five reasons why he is an asshole while excluding obvious ones such as the... (Continue reading)

Julius Bloop T-shirts now available.

Written on 17 Nov, 2007 at 0:10 in Updates | viewed 52 times | 2 Comments

I’ve opened up a store where you can now get Julius Bloop T-shirts. Currently available are the Paulie Potato T-shirt and The Tourist T-shirt. I am selling these at cost and will not make a penny on them – I’m... (Continue reading)