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Final Fantasy Fan Voted "Least Likely To Get Laid"

April 21, 2008 / Creek of Consciousness

Recently, I decided to forgo taking a nap in lieu of something more productive so I washed the dishes. As punishment from the nap Gods, I cut my finger on a steak knife. Germans hate everyone. Did you know that when you sneeze and a German says “Gesundheit” it actually means “fuck you!” I figured out how people started collecting sap and making it into maple syrup. There must have been some retarded kid that kept licking trees and eventually [...]

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Maybe This Only Amuses Me – Duckman Clip

April 20, 2008 / Maybe This Only Amuses Me

Duckman – Word Association Duckman was an adult-oriented cartoon that ran on USA for a few years in the mid-90′s. Featuring bizarre characters, lewd situations and raunchy dialogue – the show was great. I hear from my buddy Jay that it should be released on DVD sometime soon. In the meantime, check out Duckman’s word association clip.

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Urethra Franklin

April 17, 2008 / Updates

Sorry. No “creek” today. I’ve been busy going to work and attending my tv station class. So unless someone wants to start paying me to write comedy (I’m looking at YOU, Conan O’Brien) you will have to suffer update delays. I will return as soon as I possibly can.

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Maybe This Only Amuses Me – Jack Handey's Shouts & Murmurs

April 15, 2008 / Maybe This Only Amuses Me

My First Day In Hell By Jack Handey My first day in Hell is drawing to a close. They don’t really have a sunset here, but the fires seem to dim a bit, and the screaming gets more subdued. Most of the demons are asleep now, their pointy tails curled up around them. They look so innocent, it’s hard to believe that just a few hours ago they were raping and torturing us. The day started off at a party [...]

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New Potato Trash On The Way

April 14, 2008 / Updates

Paulie in on the streets and needs a friend to talk to. So while the cartoon is in the works, be patient!!! Go eat some grapes or something. They burn more calories to chew than to swallow.

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Maybe This Only Amuses Me – The Coffee Line

April 12, 2008 / Maybe This Only Amuses Me

I Am Baby Cakes – The Coffee Line I Am Baby Cakes is a series of cartoons by Brad Neely that follows the life of a strange man-boy with an overactive imagination. Neely’s humor is absurd, surreal and downright stupid, in a clever way. You may be familiar with his George Washington cartoon that swept the internet a while back. I appreciate the way he skews his perspective of ordinary objects and encounters into a strange fantasy. Whether you find [...]

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Sexy Turkeys Stare Hornily At Their Own Reflections

April 10, 2008 / Creek of Consciousness

Have you ever wanted some lettuce – so you buy a head of lettuce but then you realize it’s impossible to eat an entire head of lettuce by yourself so what the hell are you going to do with all this goddamn lettuce? What am I? Some kind of insane bunny rabbit that eats so much lettuce that the other bunny rabbits glare at me from a distance and say, “Do you see how much lettuce that douchebag eats? It’s [...]

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Florida Today – Tasered Kid, Puppy Mill and Myspace Beating

April 9, 2008 / Editorials

Florida. The swampy epicenter of evil, the hellmouth of hope and the flaccid dick dangling between Satan’s furry legs. I am literally allergic to Florida having gotten horribly ill each time I was unfortunate enough to step through the doom veil that surrounds its borders. The sooner it is castrated and pushed into the Bermuda Triangle, the better. So here’s a look at the most recent demonic activities that Florida has offered towards the demise of love and humanity. Click [...]

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Out of town.

April 6, 2008 / Updates

Bloopys, I’m going to be gone for a couple days because of work. Try not to cry. I’ll be back on Tuesday with something to do with vaginas, I’m sure. ~JB

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Maybe This Only Amuses Me – Jack Handey's Shouts and Murmurs

April 4, 2008 / Maybe This Only Amuses Me

What I’d Say To The Martians By Jack Handey People of Mars, you say we are brutes and savages. But let me tell you one thing: if I could get loose from this cage you have me in, I would tear you guys a new Martian asshole.You say we are violent and barbaric, but has any one of you come up to my cage and extended his hand? Because, if he did, I would jerk it off and eat it [...]

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Dominos and Pizza Hut Turf Wars Extend Into Messy Bedroom At Mom's House

April 3, 2008 / Creek of Consciousness

Important government leaders with their faces immortalized on currency are so awesome. I want to be on some currency that’s so inflated that the starving citizens have to lug wheelbarrow loads of Bloopy coins around just to buy a loaf of bread. Those poor bastards would be so mad and then there’d be me – thousands of me – just smiling forever… I wouldn’t have such a negative disposition if every stupid thing didn’t suck balls so much. Excitement can [...]

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Nope, It Doesn't Get Any Better Than Taking A Dump At Work

April 1, 2008 / Editorials

I admit. There are a lot of great things in my life – a loving wife, two beautiful kids, a house in the “right” neighborhood. But I’ll be darned if there’s anything better than taking a dump at work. The monotony of having a career can wear thin, day after day, year after year. But you know what never gets old? Dropping off a poop package in the office crapper. It doesn’t matter if you’re perched atop porcelain at the [...]

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