Burns and Allen – Kleebob The Card Game My dad recently sent me a DVD of various episodes from the influential 1950′s variety show Burns and Allen. Starring George Burns and Gracie Allen, this skit is a very well-written gag in which the guys try to skip out on a double date with the ladies in favor of seeing a boxing fight. They attempt to confuse their wives with a fictional card game and watch the video for the result…
Sometimes, one little discovery can solve a great mystery. Like when your travel disc won’t start and suddenly you notice the Jupiter crystal is dirty or when Bea Arthur cast aside her lowly celebrity shell and was finally revealed as Mother of all CelibriGods. Have you seen the new Heinz squeeze bottle that only combines ketchup, mustard, BBQ sauce, and mayonnaise? Don’t tell me I have to buy a separate squeeze bottle for tartar sauce now. What is this? The [...]
Olden times were stupid. Pegs legs and Morse code. Also, did antique hobos use wheelbarrows instead of shopping carts? The answer is…indubitably. I want to open a bar and call it “The Internet.” Mankind’s prayers will be answered and people can finally go to the The Internet to get drunk. Ironically, it will not have WiFi or even a computer cash register. Instead, I’ll use one of those old cash registers with the metal cranks and if people complain I’ll [...]
R3TV – Comedy Meets Indie Rock This is some Canadian online show that did a bit about comedians being like indie rock stars. It has a few funny pieces and includes the likes of Tim and Eric, Eugene Mirman, Todd Barry, Dave Foley, Mary Lynn Rajskub and Patton Oswalt. Try to slug through the stupid opening skit to get to the goods.
Downloadable food seemed like such a great idea when Applesoft introduced it in 2105 but I prefer to order my beef-flavored sustenance packets the old fashioned way – by text messaging Wal-Mart. The easiest way to tell if someone’s a morning person is the setting on his or her Jogbot. My neighbor’s Jogbot is set to “companion” so it casually jogs alongside her while commenting on the weather and complimenting her hair. My Jogbot is set to “boot camp” which [...]
Wow, April! You were so awesome that I didn’t write about your games. Well, don’t worry, weirdos. I’m going back to the future like that Corey Feldman movie and writing reviews anyway! Grand Theft Auto IV After three grueling months in development, Bungie Studios has finally released the long awaited final chapter in this popular racing franchise. It’s four times grander, four times theftier and four times more auto-y. Score – 10.9 Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII Notoriously arrogant producer [...]
Whenever I’m feeling particularly frustrated, I pop on a wonderful little diddy called Slaughtered by PanterA to cheer me up. Try it out for yourself PanterA – Slaughtered I see dudes who are clearly queer dating women and looking prettier than them. So as far as this girl is concerned, I wonder if the joy of shopping and exchanging clothes with her boyfriend is worth all the awkward butt sex. Waiting for the bus is exactly like being single. You’re [...]
Mr Show with Bob & David – I’ll Marry Your Stupid Ass Trying to choose a favorite sketch from the mid-90′s classic Mr. Show with Bob & David is nearly impossible but here’s one of the best. The way they take interesting comedic premises and cover all the bases surrounding the joke is second to none.
April flowers bring May showers and this year’s crop smells great. Typically a dry time for the silver screen, 2008 is shaping up to be the best April since ’94. I can literally smell the popcorn burning. Oh, crap, my microwave is on fire! Forbidden Kingdom Ghosts, goblins and the female orgasm reign supreme in the lost Kingdom of Forbiddia. Bruce Lee’s still got it, ladies! Thumb Score = B+ Forgetting Sarah Marshall An updated version of 80’s comedy farce [...]
Remember reading Julius Caesar in sophomore English? I do, because it was last month. Shakespeare wrote “cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war,” which sounds pretty rad. But guess what?
Shakespeare never met my mom.
The “dogs of war” can’t slip anywhere when they’re cooped up in a kennel because mom didn’t pay the internet bill. Thanks, mom, for keeping General Gunderson away from his troops.
She has a boyfriend Matthew Holness of Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace fame has just released a hilarious short film detailing how to pick up women. The downside is that they all have boyfriends. Edit: Thanks to a member of Julius Bloop’s crack team of weirdos, it’s been discovered that this is actually a montage from a BBC comedy called Snuff Box.
I have recently been made a featured writer of an upstart comedy website that will officially launch in September. A beta version of the site will be open to the public soon so I will keep you up to date once things move forward.
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