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Brilliante Weblog Award 2008

Written on 25 Sep, 2008 at 15:39 in Updates | viewed 52 times | 5 Comments

Thanks to The Lost News for recently bestowing Julius Bloop with the Brilliante Weblog Award for 2008.... (Continue reading)

Captain Banana Crushes Bank, Saves Economy

Written on 24 Sep, 2008 at 0:15 in Creek of Consciousness | viewed 53 times | 3 Comments

I struggle back and forth between being hot and cold so much you’d swear I was a menopausal woman. Also, I can no longer menstruate. And I hate your father.... (Continue reading)

State Of The Bloop Address – Weirdo Recognition

Written on 22 Sep, 2008 at 14:05 in Updates | viewed 58 times | 4 Comments

I was recently interviewed by Chris Cameron of Angry Seafood. Thanks, Chris, for the opportunity to tell a joke about semen-flavored Gatorade.... (Continue reading)

Weirdo Exposes Balls Trying To Kick Fire Baby

Written on 18 Sep, 2008 at 1:01 in Creek of Consciousness | viewed 76 times | 10 Comments

Why is maple syrup so expensive? Oh, that's right – because it’s tree blood. And the beaver is nature's vampire.... (Continue reading)

Gerald’s Song (Or: How I Lost My Guild)

Written on 11 Sep, 2008 at 1:24 in Diary of a Warcraft Player | viewed 221 times | 10 Comments

I just didn't know what to do. I stopped eating Hot Pockets, I stopped drinking Rockstar. Yeah, I went to school, but I wasn't in the mood to learn anything. I even stopped showering every other day.... (Continue reading)

World’s Most Unoffensive Mascot Is Oddly Offensive

Written on 8 Sep, 2008 at 0:24 in Creek of Consciousness | viewed 48 times | 5 Comments

...and I was so upset that you’d swear in that moment - I had a baby, named it, and raised it just long enough for it to kick me in the balls and runaway forever.... (Continue reading)

Welcome To The New Julius Bloop.com

Written on 4 Sep, 2008 at 13:42 in Updates | viewed 46 times | 7 Comments

Come inside and see what's new at Julius Bloop!... (Continue reading)

New Site

Written on 28 Aug, 2008 at 0:59 in Updates | viewed 90 times | 2 Comments

Hello. I am working very hard. On a brand new JuliusBloop.com. You will be happy. I will be happy. Hobos will be hungry. I mean, happy. Stay tuned. To the Internet. This Website. In particular. Thanks. Balls. ... (Continue reading)

Once You Go Gerald…

Written on 26 Aug, 2008 at 0:42 in Diary of a Warcraft Player | viewed 853 times | 18 Comments

In a move that made those chickenshit Herkimers proud, Lionel skirted our duel. I rubbed Superior Wizard Oil on my Merciless Gladiator's Spellblade for 6 hours at the Gates of Ironforge, all for naught. ... (Continue reading)

Tip Toein’ On Tha Straight Edge

Written on 22 Aug, 2008 at 13:48 in Editorials | viewed 113 times | 3 Comments

Today I was bending over, picking up a bag of coffee beans at my job at “Café Artiste,” when this gross-fest who I work with asked me why I had a big “X” tattooed on my lower back. My... (Continue reading)