I Pretend I'm Human

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The Struggles Of Money Man

The Struggles Of Money Man

If the world is my oyster – I must be allergic to shellfish. I just might be the loneliest rich guy in the world or the richest lonely guy in the world. ... (Continue reading)

Stream Writing – Smokin’ Joe

Stream Writing - Smokin' Joe

*This is a completely un-edited piece of stream of consciousness writing. It's a writing exercise that took about five minutes. It is what it is!*... (Continue reading)

The Ballad of Marjorie Menopause

The Ballad of Marjorie Menopause

“You gave me strength. You held my hand. You dried my womb. You gave me crabs.” Those were the final prophetic words left by the one that got away. The one with glorious treats. The one named Marjorie Menopause. We met at a... (Continue reading)

You Have To Name Your Hobos

You Have To Name Your Hobos

You have to name your hobos. There are a handful of vagabonds in my neighborhood with characteristics so distinct; they’ve practically named themselves. My hobos are as follows: The Lapper, Eskimo Joe and Hookhand. ... (Continue reading)

Dressed To Barf – An Over The Hill Obsession

Dressed To Barf - An Over The Hill Obsession

A short story about a man with a peculiar interest.... (Continue reading)

Brokeback Ocean – An Aquatic Love Tale

An original story about a young boy who became a man. And spaghetti.... (Continue reading)

Six Dollar Burger

Essays that aim to prove I'm human.... (Continue reading)

The Adventures Of Boxcar Baby Pete

Essays that aim to prove I'm human.... (Continue reading)

The Story of Scoop McGoop

Essays that aim to prove that I'm human.... (Continue reading)

Do Not Ridicule My Religion

Essays that aim to prove that I'm human.... (Continue reading)

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