Home » Archives

Diary of a Warcraft Player

Can’t Teach An Old Alchemist New Transmutations

Written on 1 Sep, 2009 at 0:06 in Diary of a Warcraft Player | viewed 417 times | 7 Comments

Today was just another ordinary day at Dan Plesac Technical High School in Gary, Indiana. Uh, ordinary other than that it was the first day of my SENIOR YEAR LOLOLOLOL!!!!11 You got it, bish. Senior year. We’re the Alpha males, we’re the... (Continue reading)

Crisis Averted, Onward To Glory

Written on 25 Sep, 2008 at 23:37 in Diary of a Warcraft Player | viewed 108 times | 8 Comments

I won't lie, guys. You know how everyone on TV says we're in a recession? Well, The General has been in a DEPRESSION for like 3 weeks. Leanne left me, I was failing school, I was actually GAINING weight again... (Continue reading)

Gerald’s Song (Or: How I Lost My Guild)

Written on 11 Sep, 2008 at 1:24 in Diary of a Warcraft Player | viewed 220 times | 10 Comments

I just didn't know what to do. I stopped eating Hot Pockets, I stopped drinking Rockstar. Yeah, I went to school, but I wasn't in the mood to learn anything. I even stopped showering every other day.... (Continue reading)

Once You Go Gerald…

Written on 26 Aug, 2008 at 0:42 in Diary of a Warcraft Player | viewed 829 times | 18 Comments

In a move that made those chickenshit Herkimers proud, Lionel skirted our duel. I rubbed Superior Wizard Oil on my Merciless Gladiator's Spellblade for 6 hours at the Gates of Ironforge, all for naught. ... (Continue reading)

It’s Time To Play The Feud

Written on 24 Jul, 2008 at 10:24 in Diary of a Warcraft Player | viewed 98 times | 6 Comments

Well, the Family Feud continues. In my time as a General of the Alliance's God-willed forces - going on 2 years now, mind you - I've learned that the past never ceases to haunt even the most capable commanders. Such is the... (Continue reading)

Moms Are For Real Life Only

Written on 16 Jul, 2008 at 7:23 in Diary of a Warcraft Player | viewed 956 times | 14 Comments

I bet you've all wondered where I've been. Wanna know? Worst summer vacation ever. Srsly. Those of you concerned chiefly with my studies and professional well-being will be relieved - I pwned the 10th grade. GENERAL GUNDERSON IS A JUNIOR, BABY! lol.... (Continue reading)

Respect Your General

Written on 28 Apr, 2008 at 1:35 in Diary of a Warcraft Player | viewed 559 times | 14 Comments

Remember reading Julius Caesar in sophomore English? I do, because it was last month. Shakespeare wrote "cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war," which sounds pretty rad. But guess what? Shakespeare never met my mom. The "dogs of war"... (Continue reading)

These Kids Have No Game

Written on 26 Mar, 2008 at 0:16 in Diary of a Warcraft Player | viewed 1,076 times | 30 Comments

I am at the mercy of children for approximately 86 hours per week. I speak, of course, of my time spent in the World of Warcraft. I am a Gnome Warlock, a Master Alchemist and an Auction House tycoon. I rule.... (Continue reading)