Yum Yum Cat Wants You In His Mouth
I assume the muffin is the lesbian breakfast of choice. It’s also the sexual activity of choice. The bumper sticker of choice is – Gone Muffin’!
I assume the muffin is the lesbian breakfast of choice. It’s also the sexual activity of choice. The bumper sticker of choice is – Gone Muffin’!
It’s unfair that if you have a collection of books, people call it a library but if you have a collection of dildos people call the police.
I hate it when you make fun of someone behind their back and somebody replies, “You wouldn’t say that if so and so were here!” Yeah, and I wouldn’t take a dump in the kiddie pool if my grandma was watching. Again.
Children with backpacks are going to school. Adults with backpacks are going to hike. Old people with backpacks are going to need back surgery.
Here are some Creek Of Consciousness ideas or jokes that never amounted to anything. Enjoy.
I bought a Snuggie and it didn’t work at all. I took a dump inside of it and it just made a huge mess! Thanks for nothing, Snuggie.
I want my headstone to say, “Here lies Kevin – he didn’t understand anything.” People will think I’m trying to be cool or philosophical until they realize my casket is full of jellybeans. Then, they’ll get it.
You know you live in a city of lazy people when your mailman says good morning at 1pm. Also, he’s on a segway. And wearing a diaper. Y’know? I’m not sure he’s the mailman.
The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. The way to an artichoke’s heart is through dip.
People take anti-depression medication in developed countries but the third world has better medicine. The preferred prescription of the jungle is Tigergonnaeatyourass and the popular pill of the desert is Wherethewaterat?
Everyone thinks energy drinks are a new phenomenon but people have always had them. Coffee has been around for centuries and in the 80′s people drank cocaine.
It’s impossible to choose a career when you’re a kid. My best friend swore he’d grow up to be a marine biologist but he ended up being a gay dude.
There’s nothing worse than a pimple on your lip. Except maybe getting tied to railroad tracks and not being saved by Popeye. That’s my short list of the worst things ever.