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Yum Yum Cat Wants You In His Mouth
I assume the muffin is the lesbian breakfast of choice. It’s also the sexual activity of choice. The bumper sticker of choice is – Gone Muffin’!
Home » Editorials » Creek of Consciousness
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Horrible Child Visits The Nightmare Pole
It’s unfair that if you have a collection of books, people call it a library but if you have a collection of dildos people call the police.
I hate it when you make fun of someone behind their back and somebody replies, “You wouldn’t say that if so and so were here!” Yeah, and I wouldn’t take a dump in the kiddie pool if my grandma was watching. Again.
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Nap Gold Medalists Still Nappin'
Children with backpacks are going to school. Adults with backpacks are going to hike. Old people with backpacks are going to need back surgery.
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Creek Trickle
Here are some Creek Of Consciousness ideas or jokes that never amounted to anything. Enjoy.
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Bring Your Pet To Work Day A Grapetacular Success
I bought a Snuggie and it didn’t work at all. I took a dump inside of it and it just made a huge mess! Thanks for nothing, Snuggie.
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Rainbow Man and Lollipop Lady Get Colorful Divorce
I want my headstone to say, “Here lies Kevin – he didn’t understand anything.” People will think I’m trying to be cool or philosophical until they realize my casket is full of jellybeans. Then, they’ll get it.
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Santa's Village Adds Therapy Hut
You know you live in a city of lazy people when your mailman says good morning at 1pm. Also, he’s on a segway. And wearing a diaper. Y’know? I’m not sure he’s the mailman.
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Fat Symmetry Becomes A Reality
The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. The way to an artichoke’s heart is through dip.
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It's Just A Drug. You're On A Drug.
People take anti-depression medication in developed countries but the third world has better medicine. The preferred prescription of the jungle is Tigergonnaeatyourass and the popular pill of the desert is Wherethewaterat?
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Mario Kids Trade Mushrooms For Pumpkins
Everyone thinks energy drinks are a new phenomenon but people have always had them. Coffee has been around for centuries and in the 80′s people drank cocaine.
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Surfin' Grandma Canes Her Way Into Semi-Finals
It’s impossible to choose a career when you’re a kid. My best friend swore he’d grow up to be a marine biologist but he ended up being a gay dude.
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Will You Ride My Scooter In Lieu Of A Mustache?
There’s nothing worse than a pimple on your lip. Except maybe getting tied to railroad tracks and not being saved by Popeye. That’s my short list of the worst things ever.
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