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There’s a fine line between things that are close together. There’s a thick line between peas and my mouth.

Daytime is the worst time of my day. It’s full of responsibilities, work and talking to people. Nighttime, on the other hand, is like an anti-social party zone! I’m gonna play videogames until I pass out alone, yayuh! Actually, that might be sad.

Buildings used to be forests full of trees. And forests of trees used to be made of dinosaurs. Dinosaurs used to be clouds, I think. History is confusing.

Whenever someone complains about insignificant problems I immediately think of dinosaurs. Then, I think of a dinosaur eating that person. Then, I ride the dinosaur like a horse and together we roam the planet passing judgment on people and eating the bad ones.

I feel like a monkey when I eat a banana. I feel like a cat when I eat fish. I feel like a dog when I eat milkbones and garbage.

People react differently when their name is called in public according to their name’s popularity. Mike won’t even glance if he hears someone call his name but Vernon’s ears immediately perk up. “Yes? Who summons me? I am the one and only Vernon!”