2008 August | Julius Bloop - Comedy for Weirdos

Archive for August, 2008

New Site

By julius bloop ⋅ August 28, 2008 ⋅ 2 comments

Hello.
I am working very hard.
On a brand new JuliusBloop.com.
You will be happy.
I will be happy.
Hobos will be hungry.
I mean, happy.
Stay tuned.
To the Internet.
This Website.
In particular.
Thanks.
Balls.

Once You Go Gerald…

By Gerald Gunderson ⋅ August 26, 2008 ⋅ 18 comments

In a move that made those chickenshit Herkimers proud, Lionel skirted our duel. I rubbed Superior Wizard Oil on my Merciless Gladiator’s Spellblade for 6 hours at the Gates of Ironforge, all for naught.
W/e. Another win for General Gunderson. This Herkimer thing is like water under the Blackrock Depths bridge. And summer vacation is almost [...]

Janice Bloop - Sexual Positions

By julius bloop ⋅ August 24, 2008 ⋅ 8 comments

Janice Bloop - Sexual Positions
Janice details her recent sexual exploits after having an incredible hookup during a swinger’s party.
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Tip Toein’ On Tha Straight Edge

By x Vicky Gnar Gnar x ⋅ August 22, 2008 ⋅ 3 comments

Today I was bending over, picking up a bag of coffee beans at my job at “Café Artiste,” when this gross-fest who I work with asked me why I had a big “X” tattooed on my lower back.
My first, most singular, upfront, thought was to accuse him of staring at my butt. [...]

Dorleen Muntz Wins Gold In The 100m Child Abuse

By julius bloop ⋅ August 20, 2008 ⋅ 2 comments

I check my email so frequently that I look forward to spam just so I have something to delete.
Dear TV Programmers - give women’s beach volleyball its own channel. Some naysayers will scoff at the idea but we’ll make the girls read a poem about feminism after each match - that’ll win those intellectual-types over.
Someone [...]

It’s A Real Zoo Out There

By Lionel Herkimer ⋅ August 19, 2008 ⋅ Post a comment

This past weekend was the annual “Bring Your Asshole Pet to the Doolittle Shopping Center” event.
I can’t even begin to describe the asinine amount of morbidly obese couples who decided that today, of ALL days, was the best time to not only drag their crippled mutt from its doggy-bed to my Sear’s Customer [...]

Uninformed Reviews - Videogames: August 2008

By julius bloop ⋅ August 18, 2008 ⋅ Post a comment

The August sun is hotter than Hell which only means that the August videogames are hotter than Hell Hell!
Madden NFL 09
They keep cranking a new edition of this game year after year and I fail to see much improvement. I know that Steven Madden is the biggest name in the National Footwear League but this [...]

Maybe This Only Amuses Me - Whitest Kids U Know

By julius bloop ⋅ August 17, 2008 ⋅ Post a comment

Whitest Kids U Know - Drum Sketch
A lot of people try to do sketch comedy and seem to rely on slick editing, music or beating the premise into the ground without payoff. Whitest Kids U Know is one of the few sketch groups around today that always find a way to establish clever premises and [...]

Jolene Bloop - Vegetarian

By julius bloop ⋅ August 14, 2008 ⋅ 10 comments

Jolene Bloop - Vegetarian
Inspired by a new crush - Jolene decides to become vegetarian but doesn’t seem sure of all that it entails.
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Searching For My Soul Mate

By Lionel Herkimer ⋅ August 13, 2008 ⋅ Post a comment

Greetings, most gracious readers. As I sit here at my desk in the Customer Service Department at the Doolittle Shopping Center Sears, I’ve become quite clear of one thing: I would like to find someone.
My last real girlfriend was Loretta Chung. She didn’t seem to think my passion for 17th [...]