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Floating Together – The Loan Shark Slip
Floating Together is an In Utero comic strip
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Floating Together – Academic Reality
Floating Together is an In Utero comic strip
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New Site
Hello. I am working very hard. On a brand new JuliusBloop.com. You will be happy. I will be happy. Hobos will be hungry. I mean, happy. Stay tuned. To the Internet. This Website. In particular. Thanks. Balls.
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Once You Go Gerald…
In a move that made those chickenshit Herkimers proud, Lionel skirted our duel. I rubbed Superior Wizard Oil on my Merciless Gladiator’s Spellblade for 6 hours at the Gates of Ironforge, all for naught.
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Tip Toein' On Tha Straight Edge
Today I was bending over, picking up a bag of coffee beans at my job at “Café Artiste,” when this gross-fest who I work with asked me why I had a big “X” tattooed on my lower back. My first, most singular, upfront, thought was to accuse him of staring at my butt. I mean, I know that shit is totes stare-able, but can’t we keep it professional to the fullest? Totes not, apparently. I had to explain to Gross [...]
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Dorleen Muntz Wins Gold In The 100m Child Abuse
I check my email so frequently that I look forward to spam just so I have something to delete. Dear TV Programmers – give women’s beach volleyball its own channel. Some naysayers will scoff at the idea but we’ll make the girls read a poem about feminism after each match – that’ll win those intellectual-types over. Someone tell bees that I’m not a flower. They swarm me like I’m somehow going to add to their stupid honey collection. I guess [...]
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It's A Real Zoo Out There
This past weekend was the annual “Bring Your Asshole Pet to the Doolittle Shopping Center” event. I can’t even begin to describe the asinine amount of morbidly obese couples who decided that today, of ALL days, was the best time to not only drag their crippled mutt from its doggy-bed to my Sear’s Customer Service counter, but also return their Zark Brand Homemade Pasta Machine. It seems as though they were disappointed when, instead of healthy homemade pasta helping them [...]
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Uninformed Reviews – Videogames: August 2008
The August sun is hotter than Hell which only means that the August videogames are hotter than Hell Hell! Madden NFL 09 They keep cranking a new edition of this game year after year and I fail to see much improvement. I know that Steven Madden is the biggest name in the National Footwear League but this franchise needs to be taken out back and buried in a box. A shoebox. Score = Shoes Braid French it, twist it and [...]
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Maybe This Only Amuses Me – Whitest Kids U Know
Whitest Kids U Know – Drum Sketch A lot of people try to do sketch comedy and seem to rely on slick editing, music or beating the premise into the ground without payoff. Whitest Kids U Know is one of the few sketch groups around today that always find a way to establish clever premises and successfully twist them with a solid punchline. They clearly take their time and develop their comedy. Enjoy this sketch.
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Searching For My Soul Mate
Greetings, most gracious readers. As I sit here at my desk in the Customer Service Department at the Doolittle Shopping Center Sears, I’ve become quite clear of one thing: I would like to find someone. My last real girlfriend was Loretta Chung. She didn’t seem to think my passion for 17th Century Central Asian Law was a good enough excuse to forget our first year anniversary. The nerve of some people. Truth be told, Loretta wasn’t really right for me. [...]
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Dumpster News – Gay Iraqi Lohan And Shia Cyrus Love Asian Babes
Attention-starved dumpster Lindsey Lohan and her lesbian partner DJ Samantha Ronson are spreading the rumor that they’re engaged. And no one cares. Pretending you’re a lesbian to get publicity is more desperate than adopting a foreign baby and making a sex tape. With the baby. An Iraqi man was recently discovered as being gay and was punished by three days of gay sex. Based on that logic, when an unsuspecting mother walks into her son’s bedroom assuming he’s playing Final [...]
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