Uninformed Reviews

Uninformed Reviews - Videogames: July 2008

With all of the great blockbusters in the movie theater it’s easy to forget about the blockbusters in your videogame theaters!

Final Fantasy IV

It’s hard to believe this mediocre monster-hunting franchise has lasted four installments but Retro Studios keeps cranking them out. I have a feeling, though, that this will indeed be the last one. The final fantasy, if you will.
Score = 4.3

Soul Caliber IV

.22 .44 .Soul! Choose your caliber and blast through nine frenetic levels of brutal light gun shootery. Each console features an exclusive character including Scott Baio, Erik Estrada and Hitler!
Score = 7.8

Izuna 2: The Unemployed Ninja Returns

After three years with a job, Izuna returns as the unemployed ninja we all know and love. Drink sake, watch TV and change the channel with a ninja star – who knows, maybe you’ll beat the game and impregnate a fellow deadbeat ninja!
Score = Get a Job

Sid Meier’s Civilization Revolution

Sid Meier, the revolutionary leader of civilization games releases the most redundantly-titled game since Joe Montana’s NFL Football ’94.
Score = Score Score Score

Guitar Hero: Aerosmith

Riding the coattails of Guitar Hero 1 and 2, Aerosmith debuts the only game that lets you play whatever the hell songs Aerosmith plays. Dream on? Nap on! And I tried playing this game with my standard controller instead of the guitar and Steven Tyler’s giant fish-mouth literally yelled at me.
Score = Cryin’?!

Final Fantasy Tactics A2

I can’t w8 4 B3!
Score = 9.9

***Classic Uninformed Review***

Contra

Spanish for “against” this seminal Atari title pits contenders…against…each other. Karate guy vs. Sumo. Baseball player vs. Lawyer. Fun vs. Awesome!
Score = 10 million

Tags: civilzation revolution, contra, final fantasy, final fantasy iv, final fantasy tactics, final fantasy tactics a2, izuna 2, nes, nintendo, sid meier, soul caliber iv