Uninformed Reviews

Uninformed Reviews - Movies: March 2008

March is when a film you’ve never heard of - fails to become a classic you’ll never forget!

Horton Hears A Who

Based on a children’s book written by Walt Disney that was inspired by a comedy routine by Laurel and Hardy that was influenced by an encounter between a mentally disabled child and an intoxicated Babe Ruth - this movie’s got it all!
Thumb Score = A

Bank Job

More like Blow Job. Seriously, this movie details the struggles of a family living in a windmill. You’re a thief, Michael Bay.
Thumb Score = F-

The Other Boleyn Girl

When the previous Boleyn girl turns out to be a boy, it’s up to the other Boleyn girl to, in fact, be a girl. It’s a lot like that movie Ladybugs starring Sam Kinison and Ricky Schroeder but without all the basketball.
Thumb Score = B+

10,000 B.C.

A mob of ten thousand blind conquerors descend on the sacred lands of Audiopia to crush the audiophiles and end the War of the Senses once and for all. The computer generated Macaulay Culkin is awesome.
Thumb Score = B

Tyler Perry’s Meet The Browns

Apparently Mr. Perry thinks he owns the movies. Well, sorry, but you don’t, Mr. Perry. The only person that owns the movies is Mr. Hollywood and his hindi life-partner Mr. Bollywood. Bollywood is a “bottom”.
Thumb Score = B-

Semi-Pro

Half the professionalism - twice the laughter! Robin Williams doesn’t miss a step and Shaquille O’Neal’s acting skills have grown leaps and bounds since Space Jam. It’s a home run and a slam dunk rolled into a touchdown!
Thumb Score = A-

***Classic Uninformed Review***

Star Wars

An epic battle for the talent show spotlight creates a rift between two rival families, the Skywalkers and the Vaders. Marlon Brando’s portrayal of the evil talent show judge takes the cake. And then he eats it. Because he’s fat.
Thumb Score = A+++