Bob Odenkirk has created a hilarious short film for the folks at Super Deluxe in which he plays both himself and an out-of-touch movie executive.

If you’re not familiar with Bob, he is best known for starring alongside David Cross in their legendary 90’s sketch comedy show Mr. Show with Bob and David. He has since worked as producer on Tim and Eric’s various Adult Swim projects and directed a few films including 2003 cult hit Melvin Goes To Dinner.

In wonderfully exciting news, Bob and David have received the green light from HBO to begin production on a brand new show. Comedy might live afterall…

Jolene is having, literally, the worst day of her life and Stacy interrupts by texting her current exploits with some guy named Craig.

A change of clothing can alter your outlook on life. The transition from pajama pants to jeans is equivalent to giving a dirty hobo a hot shower or giving an old virgin a huge pile of sex.

Sunday is national time travel day.

Weird Al Yankovic and Tenacious D are decent but the best musical comedy act of all time is Limp Bizkit. Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water is the funniest album title to reference a butthole and a toilet bowl full of turds since Elton John’s 1975 classic Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy.

When I misplace something - my first assumption is that someone stole it. Like my car, my wallet or my desire to accomplish anything. My unemployment is all your fault, imaginary thief!

Dear, everyone. Finish your goddamn beers. There are thirsty alcoholics in Africa that’d love to suckle at the sweet booze-y teat of your unfinished pints of pale ale. Even if you puke it back up, don’t worry. There are no Africans that want to imbibe your Budweiser barf.

It’s hard to get motivated for volunteer work or to donate to charity. That’s why I only purchase products that give a percentage of their proceeds to something like breast cancer research. Because “Eat Spaghetti for Boobs” is a charity I can get behind.

Remembering one’s childhood becomes increasingly difficult with each passing year. That’s why it’s easier to base your memories around specific items like peanut butter. I remember when my grandpa would leave chunks of chips in the jar of peanut butter and it would make me sad. Luckily, I don’t remember anything about Uncle Chip leaving chunks of sadness in my peanut butter jar.

The child drinks milk. The teenager drinks soda pop. The adult drinks alcohol. The recovering alcoholic drinks soda pop. The senior citizen drinks milk. At our most fragile we take care of ourselves and at our most invincible we destroy ourselves. The circle of life is dumpster.

Do you ever wake up completely surprised to be alive? Like, “Oooh yeah, I remember life!” I hope that I’m not the only one that does that. Oh well, I’m pretty sure TV is on.

I am at the mercy of children for approximately 86 hours per week.

I speak, of course, of my time spent in the World of Warcraft. I am a Gnome Warlock, a Master Alchemist and an Auction House tycoon.

I rule.

I try to be friendly to the children who play this game. There are lots of them, so I try my best to mentor these kids and develop their WoW skills. I even say fun, crotchety mentor-things like, “I have forgotten more about Arthas than you’ll ever know!” but still…they don’t appreciate me.

Even when I invite some novice dwarf into my guild, when no one else in Trade Chat will even take them seriously, they treat me like dirt. Do they not understand that I’m a modern day Fagin who can teach them to make an honest, honorable living in the vasts of Azeroth and The Outlands? A venerable, loving professor of both the Demonic and the Azerothian academic?

No. No, they do NOT understand and it’s testing my patience more than retrieving the Twin Blades of Azzinoth from Illidan Stormrage of the Black Temple!

I invite these little scamps into my guild “NickelbackFanz4Lyfe” and take them under my wing. I explain the principles of micro AND macro economics as they relate to the Azerothian economy; I test them on buying raw materials low and selling high, I quiz them on the opportunity costs of jumping around in Ironforge when they could be out earning Honor, XP or just letting everyone in the World of Warcraft know that yes, Nickelback still rules.

And what do they do? HAHA. Not what I tell them, that’s for sure.

Here’s a perfect example:

FlyinHaiAgin:“ok u little fgt why are u not out gathering raw mats 4 us to sell”
Meatsauce12: “wat”
FlyinHaiAgin: “ok w/e give me those herbs so i can make you rage potions”
Meatsauce12: “no my dad is making me join his guild bye”

**Meatsauce12 has quit NickelbackFanz4Lyfe.**

Are you fucking kidding me? YOUR FATHER’S GUILD? This is the childish shit I have to deal with.

First, no wonder you’re such a dickheaded little queer - your dad plays WoW with you.

Second, you quit my guild? MY guild? We already established that your dad sucks, so his guild probably sucks, too. But hey, have fun in that sucky guild teeming with suckitude. I’m sure it’ll be lots better than learning from the best.

Fuck you, your dad and your 6th grade friends.

And this is what I put up with day in and day out. These little turds don’t treat me like the professional that I am. They weren’t taught to appreciate experience or respect their elders. They don’t even want to get better at the game! They just want to play with their shitty retard friends and pray they grow a pube.

When you kids finally wise up and want to Quest With the Best, send a whisper to FlyinHaiAgin and we’ll talk.

Dear readers,

I would like to bring to your attention the new buttons located in the sidebar that link to various Julius Bloop productions.

They’re a sexier way to promote The Journey of Merrill, Potato Trash, Hobo Village and Agent Kootex.

Now, I would also like to know who has been accessing JuliusBloop.com by googling “diaper meat”.

The culprit has visited multiple times a week for a few months now and I’m wondering why he/she/it doesn’t simply learn the URL and access the site directly. Grandpa?

Finally, I am part of a humor blog network creatively titled Humor-Blogs.com. If you click that link it somehow helps me or something. So give it a shot and help save the day.

Enthusiasm!

March is when a film you’ve never heard of - fails to become a classic you’ll never forget!

Horton Hears A Who

Based on a children’s book written by Walt Disney that was inspired by a comedy routine by Laurel and Hardy that was influenced by an encounter between a mentally disabled child and an intoxicated Babe Ruth - this movie’s got it all!
Thumb Score = A

Bank Job

More like Blow Job. Seriously, this movie details the struggles of a family living in a windmill. You’re a thief, Michael Bay.
Thumb Score = F-

The Other Boleyn Girl

When the previous Boleyn girl turns out to be a boy, it’s up to the other Boleyn girl to, in fact, be a girl. It’s a lot like that movie Ladybugs starring Sam Kinison and Ricky Schroeder but without all the basketball.
Thumb Score = B+

10,000 B.C.

A mob of ten thousand blind conquerors descend on the sacred lands of Audiopia to crush the audiophiles and end the War of the Senses once and for all. The computer generated Macaulay Culkin is awesome.
Thumb Score = B

Tyler Perry’s Meet The Browns

Apparently Mr. Perry thinks he owns the movies. Well, sorry, but you don’t, Mr. Perry. The only person that owns the movies is Mr. Hollywood and his hindi life-partner Mr. Bollywood. Bollywood is a “bottom”.
Thumb Score = B-

Semi-Pro

Half the professionalism - twice the laughter! Robin Williams doesn’t miss a step and Shaquille O’Neal’s acting skills have grown leaps and bounds since Space Jam. It’s a home run and a slam dunk rolled into a touchdown!
Thumb Score = A-

***Classic Uninformed Review***

Star Wars

An epic battle for the talent show spotlight creates a rift between two rival families, the Skywalkers and the Vaders. Marlon Brando’s portrayal of the evil talent show judge takes the cake. And then he eats it. Because he’s fat.
Thumb Score = A+++

Chris Dotson has created a series of YouTube videos impersonating surrealist film director David Lynch. For those unfamiliar with the legendary artist, check out this hysterical video where Lynch explains his opinion of viewing movies on a cellphone.

Dotson’s Lynch impersonation is spot on and this particular episode includes Twin Peak’s Log Lady and some great Blue Velvet references. Enjoy.

Jolene blogs from a new location and is surprised to find something disgusting in a familiar area.